Having self-identity can have a significant impact on having genuine relationships. When both parties/individuals have a clear understanding of who they are, their values and what they want in life are able to have better communication of their needs and desires in that relationship. This can lean more toward having honest and authentic interactions in the relationship. But on the other hand, if one party and/or individual are unclear about their self-identity, it can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction. This can be caused by the struggle to communicate effectively, and may experience confusion or conflict in their relationships. It may also be that the individual is more likely to compromise their own needs and values to please the other person. From my experience, whether in a platonic, the ones that did not last were because of the lack of self-identity. Since I lacked self-identity back in high school, my then-friends gaslit and manipulated me because it was easier for them to make me do whatever they wanted. I am glad that the friendships with those people are over because who knows what would happen if I were still friends with them.

Living to achieve expectations can be motivating for some people. Expectations can come from external sources, such as family, friends or society (social ladder) or from internal sources, such as personal goals and aspirations. But living solely to achieve those expectations can also be a source of stress and anxiety, especially when your external factors are pressuring you to climb the social ladder to achieve those expectations. It can also lead to burnout, negative outcomes, and the feeling of emptiness which can link back to the experience of mental health dissatisfaction. So if you’re experiencing this type of situation, always be kind to yourself and focus on the journey instead of the end goal. any thoughts or comments?

Growing up in a strict household, I did not realise that my parents dictated their expectations on how I should behave until now. My parents always told me that I should dress like a “female” when guests are around and that I should not jump around when I am excited or show any “abnormal” behaviour. They also told me how to act around guests, making me feel like I am not being my authentic self. This makes me feel like a puppet and that they are the master, controlling the strings attached to me. The sad thing is that I can only be myself around certain people because they know me better than everyone else. It does bother me sometimes, but it has been happening for so many years you get used to it. Any comments or thoughts?

As a Chinese – Australian, it is difficult to meet expectations from both sides of my life. For context, I am born and raised in Australia, but my parents have migrated here from mainland China because of the government over there. It is difficult to meet both expectations from both societies. As a Chinese, my parents expected me to do well in school, achieve numerous of things, be fluent in both Mandarin (mostly used in the north) and Cantonese (mostly used in the south) and many others. But also, as one of the first “Australians” in my family, I also have expectations from this society, such as being able to rent and/or buy property when inflation is happening, have fun (while having an education and/or working), being able to live freely and other expectations. Those expectations collide from both parties, and it gives me a headache to figure out which one should I prioritise first. Any thoughts and/or comments